A thousand lessons in a month

I am not even sure what to say beyond that I am learning so much. I am discovering things about myself that I never thought possible. Do you have those people in your life that you think you are reaching out to or helping but in the end they are the ones who reach out and touch you? This is my journey of discovery this month. My friend Miriam is absolutely incredible. Her and her wonderful family share my home with me and I have always thought of them living here as an opportunity for me to help them in some meaningful way. However, it is I who have been touched and helped by them a thousand fold. Her and her husband have been my voice of reason in the last month and a listening ear when I needed to vent. Even in the last few weeks they have completely reached out to me in real and practical ways such as inviting me to join them for supper, joining me for my workouts, helping me chip ice on the sidewalks, and hooking up my cable.

They are also teaching me the values of connectedness, community and family. They love each other deeply and out of that love flows the ability to connect with others and bless them. They make the impossible seem feasible and spending time with them has cultivated within me a deep desire for community. They make it easy to be myself without all the layers of pretense. We have been through a lot together and I really cherish their friendship, more than I think I realized. It is true what they say that during the times of hardship you truly learn who your friends are and these two are true friends.

Solace

I am sitting here being a bit of a grump. I had class today which meant staying late at work so today turned into another long day and on top of that I have an assignment due for class next week that I really need to get my butt in gear for but for whatever reason I just don't feel like working on tonight. I have some dishes in the sink, clothes in the washer, and bags of junk that need to go to Goodwill. I am not feeling like much of a champion today.

I don't know why, but somehow writing things down seems to make it all better. :) Especially when you push the publish post button. It is a weird phenomenon that our generation feels compelled to electronically publish their lives for others viewing pleasure. I find it strange too that I get so much satisfaction over seeing my life in print. Somehow by publishing what is bothering me I somehow remove it from myself and it becomes a collective problem. I don't think that I comprehend it as throwing away my problem but it almost seems that as soon as I can reflect on my problem it somehow morphs from the mountain it used to be to a manageable crumb. It provides a renewed perspective about the severity of the problem and my skills for tackling it. I guess something like therapy although I don't get to talk and I have no idea who is receiving the information on the other end. Like I said, it's weird. But it works. It's a deeply ingrained need for remote connection with those around me, now matter how little I know about them. I still try to connect with them through electronic means and hope that somehow they can relate to what I am going through.

I heard a really good quote today "we strive for progress, not perfection." I think it is something that I need to take to heart. And today I will try. I have had a long day so it is okay if there are dishes in the sink, laundry in the washer, and bags of stuff to go to Goodwill. Today I went to class, went to work, ate well, and loved myself. That is progress so I guess that will have to do. And yes, I do feel better. Now to push that publish button..........

Nearly February

Check out the new hair do!

I don't think I realized how dead inside I really was......it's been a while since I have really opened up to my creative, spiritual or positive emotional side. In the last month I think I have found myself again. I feel more alive than I have felt in a long time. I have a new purpose and a freedom and happiness that I haven't felt in a long time. I used to write lots of poetry and I forgot how much I missed that quiet time to pour out my thoughts, feelings and struggles. I forgot how good it feels to bond with others and to set daily goals for yourself that are attainable and enjoyable. :) It's the simple things really that we forget to do and really it is the simple things that mean soooo much!

I have also started working out and am pushing myself to hopefully do a 5km run this summer. I would love to accomplish that! Today I got to 4km in 30 mins so I think I can do it.

Thanks for stopping by!